As part of Noah's Educational Health and Care Plan, he has different targets to work towards that are designed to help with different areas of his development. These are generally targets to be achieved by the end of each school key stage, but every year his class teacher will set mini targets that will help toward completing the overall goals. These can be all kinds of things, and at first glance they can look a little bit underwhelming, or sometimes so small and specific that it can feel as if they're not pushing your child hard enough to achieve.
One of Noah's targets in reception year was simply to engage in an adult led activity for two minutes. That meant following an adult as they showed them how to complete a task or a toy. At the time I remember thinking that this was shooting a little bit low, and that surely we should be looking at getting him repeating actions and eventually words, so that we could communicate with each other.
The reality is that, at that stage, Noah's willingness to engage with anything that wasn't of his own choosing or interest was pretty much zero, and we had to break everything down almost to the second in order to see any kind of results. We needed to show Noah that there was value in engaging with others, there were things other people could show us or give us that would give us as much joy as we can find on our own. Once he understands the point of it all, his willingness to engage and learn would increase too.
I hadn't fully appreciated how much those baby steps had begun to pay off until this Christmas. We met up with some family members that Noah had not been around since he was a tiny baby. Usually, we would tell people how to approach him in order to get the best level of interaction from him, (get eye level, offer some sweets, tickle him, show him you're fun!), and we still did prep people, but as it happens, we hadn't really needed to.
All of that hard work, slowly building Noah's engagement with others has really begun to pay off. He was not nearly as shy or reserved as we had worried he would be. He found a safe place, (squeezed himself into a wooden high chair), made it his home for the first hour or so, played with his books and toys, and was fed snack after snack by our gracious hosts. Once he'd finished assessing the room he got down from the high chair and begun hand leading these new (to him) family members in and out of the kitchen to get his drinks bottle refilled, clambering all over one Uncle in particular and generally just being his happy relaxed little self. He was able to regulate, take a step back when he needed, or go for a big run through the house and burn some energy before it spilled over, which meant that when he was interacting with people, he was truly present and engaged. Most importantly he was completely accepted for who he is, which showed in how quickly he got comfortable enough to climb down from his safe spot.
It was so lovely to see, and to be able to relax and not feel like Noah's translator. He didn't need us to convey his needs, he was more than happy to do it for himself. Sometimes, you don't fully see the value in those baby step targets until the fruits of the labour come into view. All the time you spend on the small stuff, on the slow gradual climb of the ladder, will all amount to something huge and tangible in the end. You just have to trust in the process.
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