“On Track”. Two simple words, but they mean the world to us. We got Noah’s school report from his first term at school, and in every single area that they are working towards, he is On-Track. He’s settled beautifully into the routine, making eye contact with staff, and getting stuck in with the activities instead of always hiding on the sidelines in his own little world. It is the best start we could have hoped for, and the relief we feel is immeasurable.
His first week back after half term was especially surprising. Since his first day, we had had problems keeping him dry all day. I wish I could say it was down to wet play and sensory activities, but unfortunately often it was due to Noah playing with a hose of his own! It’s always been a bit of a problem, but it’s something we dealt with mostly at night-time. Most mornings he would wake up with sodden pajamas and damp sheets, with his willy poking out of the side of his nappy where it shouldn’t be! We came up with various solutions, but the best thing we tried was using covers from old cloth nappies that we’d had when he was smaller, pulled as tightly as was safe over his nappy to stop him from getting his hands inside. Overall, unless he’d attempted to drink the bath dry at bedtime the night before, he was finally waking up in the mornings with any overnight moisture firmly contained.
So, when it became apparent that this sensory seeking behavior was taking place at school so frequently that he was running out of spare clothes, it was time to get creative. I bought some extra nappy covers and started sending him into school layered up to the armpits with a nappy, nappy cover, boxer shorts, trousers, and a bag full of spares just in case. For the first half term this was his standard outfit, and it was working! No more not-so-accidental wet trousers!
The first day back after half term break, I’d forgotten to put his nappy cover on, but he still had spares in his bag. When I collected him, he was still in the same clothes as I’d left him in! He’d got so used to not being able to get to it that he’d stopped trying! I decided to see if it was a fluke or not, and I stopped adding the nappy cover to his layers, and so far, he’s not even attempted to get access to himself since! He doesn’t even need one in bed anymore either! Success…
…and that wasn’t the only one that week. A couple of days later one of his TA’s came out at collection time to tell me all about how Noah had shown interest in the seesaw whilst another child was on it, patted the seat, and then accepted help up on to it, and played with the other child for over 5 minutes! Noah would never usually glance at another child, let alone share an activity. I cried when they sent through the video of him doing just that. That night I video called my husband to tell him about Noah’s day, and after hearing his voice, Noah came into the kitchen, took the phone from the side where it was propped up, and walked off with it babbling at his daddy. Another massive step! He had never truly acknowledged people on the phone before, but to go that step further and take over the call was something else entirely. He was on a roll! I was so proud of him I could have burst.
They say, “Pride comes before the fall”. The following week of school could not have been more different.
It started on the Monday. Noah was happily running around the entrance, like always, wading his boots through the grass whilst all the mums stood chatting and waiting, and just before the teachers opened the door, he burst into floods of tears!
I instantly swooped him up and tried to work out what had happened, but there was nothing obvious to go on. I wondered if he had lost sight of me in amongst the parents and had frightened himself, but I couldn’t be sure. I settled him enough to go inside, and he went willingly, but just as I finished work at 11.30, I got a phone call to go and collect him early. He’d been in tears for most of the morning and could not be calmed down. Once I’d gotten him home, he seemed fine. I checked him over for any illness or injury, but aside from looking sad and occasionally needing a huge cuddle while he sobbed, there was nothing wrong with him. It was like he suddenly had some big feelings he couldn’t contain, and they were pouring out of him. I felt awful that I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, and that he couldn’t show me.
I took him back to school, and for the rest of the week we had tears in the mornings. It was taking him up until lunch time to regulate, but he seemed much happier when I picked him up. The worst day was on the Thursday, when he was the last child through the door, and I had to carry him in whilst he squeezed his arms round my neck and his legs around my waist, screaming. He had never been like that, he always loved school and I usually couldn’t even get a glance back or a wave goodbye at drop offs. I just couldn’t work out what was happening.
We knew he wasn’t ill or hurt so we looked for emotional answers instead. That week, my husband had been working away right up until the Thursday evening. We debated whether the problem was that Noah had been missing him and couldn’t understand where he was. So, on the Friday morning as a surprise for Noah, Daddy came to school drop off with us, whilst I loaded my pockets with smarties and sweets to tempt Noah through the door.
We didn’t need the smarties. That little monkey made me look like a complete liar! With big smiles and no tears, he ran straight through the door when the teachers opened it and didn’t look back. He’d gotten over whatever was upsetting him over night, apparently! We’ve had no problems since, and everything is back to normal. We still don’t know for sure what had set him off in the first place, so we don’t know if it will happen again, but for now he’s back to running up the path and greeting people as they come in the gate every morning, and I couldn’t be more pleased.
I don’t think it will ever get easier that Noah can’t communicate to me when something like that is wrong. I hope one day, if he isn’t able to speak, we will have some other kind of communication system that works for him, and even if he can’t be specific, I might still be able to get closer to figuring out what he needs than I currently can.
Despite his blip week, he is progressing amazingly, and his school report is a huge reflection on that. In just a few weeks he has built trusting relationships with his new teachers, giving them lots of eye contact and interaction. He is even engaging more in group activities and showing anticipation in what comes next. He is slowly learning not just how to let people into his world, but how to sometimes step out into someone else’s too. Even from a non-academic perspective, he’s making steps to becoming nappy free (we are a long way off total independence but we’re building the foundations), and he’s tried more foods at home recently than we’ve ever been able to convince him to before. This school is really the best thing we could have thing we could have done for him at this early stage in his development, and I can’t wait to see what rolls and falls there are to come. We’re learning along with him, and it’s a hell of a ride.
