School Results - False Starts and Happy Hearts

Don’t you just hate it when a plan falls apart? I had it all planned out in my head, I knew exactly how it was going to go, and it was going to be a fantastic day. Or so I thought…

We first visited our chosen school for Noah back in October. We were shown around by the head teacher who could not have been lovelier. The tour began with an informal chat in her office. It was bright and comfortable, with a small desk, and some large comfy armchairs. It was instantly welcoming. She asked us to describe Noah to her (he was at preschool), and what kind of things he struggles with. As we described him, she began to smile and nod along, “Aahh yes, we have lots of ‘Noah‘s’ here”, she said. Naturally, I got emotional as I tried to put our little boy into words, and she was quick to hand me a tissue. I felt understood. We asked a few questions about things we were concerned about, and she gave us full and reassuring answers, and then it was time to look around. The school day was in full swing, so as we walked the halls, there were children everywhere. None of them looked upset or overwhelmed, they all seemed happy and relaxed. We were shown a couple of classrooms and had their set up explained to us, including the communication systems that they use within the class room to help all the children with the expectations of the day. There were also larger facilities to see, like a sunken trampoline, a climbing/soft play room and several sensory rooms. Outside there was so much green space, and even a forest school. Everywhere we looked there were happy children engaged in some activity or another that promoted communication and independence. More importantly everywhere I looked I could see Noah. It was perfect for him. This was it. Our entire fight for support for him had lead us to this place. My heart was set on it.

As I’ve mentioned, we submitted our forms the very same day, and the long wait began. 68 days to be exact. In 68 days time I would receive an automated email from the council letting us know if we were successful or not. We put it to the back of our minds, knowing that we couldn’t have done any more any faster to get the result that we wanted and tried not to think about it, but as the day drew nearer the anticipation grew.

The same day the results were due, Noah had an end of term Christmas Sing-a-long at preschool. My husband booked the day off work to come along, and I began to plan in my head how the day was going to go:

We would be at home, all together when we found out about Noah’s school placement, and we would be able to go along to the Sing-a-long extra full of christmas cheer, or, with a plan for an appeal. Either way, we would finally know and the anticipation would be over.

I lost count of the amount of times I refreshed my emails. I got endless spam emails that day, and every time I saw one my heart lifted and slammed straight back down. It was maddening. I felt like some bee’s had taken root inside my chest and I couldn’t relax.

We watched the Sing-a-long proudly, snapping as many photos of Noah as we could as he hung off the nursery assistant’s shoulders, showering her in kisses that we like to call “get away with murder kisses“, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the results. Why hadn’t they come through? What was the delay? It must mean we haven’t got it.

Eventually, I reached out to a local parents group asking if anyone else was waiting or had heard. “4pm the results come out, same as mainstream” I was told. 4pm came and went, and still my inbox was empty. In the end I caved and emailed them, but got no response, so then I called. The woman who answered couldn’t help me, and the only woman who could had left for the day. It was a Friday, which meant I was powerless until Monday...

All that anticipation, all the tension, ALL of the feelings just popped. It had nowhere to go. It had been building all day to some kind of relief that wasn't going to come. I was so frustrated I couldn’t even finish explaining to my husband that we weren‘t going to find out. It seems petty and impatient, and there’s an element of that, but mostly I just felt like a boiling kettle with a cork in the spout. I’d been hanging on to this day for so long and now I could do nothing to find out the result for two more days. It was torture.

Thankfully, we had a busy weekend planned which allowed me to take my mind off of it for a little while, but I felt the tension just under the surface of my skin constantly. My husband has since informed me that I was ’understandably’ snappy, but that he couldn’t take it personally because he’d felt exactly the same. Our combined frustration had us debating who was going to call in as soon as the office opened on Monday morning, culminating in my husband deciding he was going to be the one, as he had a few choice words for whomever had left us hanging. I’d thought about what I wanted to say all weekend, mentally changing tact from angry to pleading more times than I can remember.

Monday came, and along with it the usual morning rush to get Noah and myself ready and out the door. My husband went off to work at the crack of dawn, and it wasn’t till just after 9am that I finally got a chance to look at my phone and there it was. Friday’s email, two days late and accompanied by another email from the woman I’d been trying to reach, apologising for the delay. She cut my arguing off at the knees!

I opened it, and there in bold letters were the words I’d wanted to see for 70 days.

Noah has been allocated a place at your first choice school.

He’d done it! Our boy had proven to everyone exactly what he needed and why, and now he was going to get the chance to start his education exactly the way HE needed to.

I felt the tension drain out of me. The cork flew out the kettle spout, and the steam was released, along with a fair few tears. The relief was the best Christmas present we could have asked for, and that’s exactly what I wrote in my response, before I called my husband to make sure he didn’t call anyone ranting and raving!

It wasn’t the family experience I’d planned, and my Christmas cheer came a little later than expected, but we got the most important thing out of it, a MASSIVE win for Noah.